Waiting for Tomorrow to Celebrate My Yesterdays

 | A Love Letter to Myself

I just spent my yesterdays but I am waiting to have tomorrow to celebrate my Yesterdays. I am the girl who always doubts whether other girls also have the same thing. But is it good for having doubt specifically for self? While in the age of maturity we know how to tackle the ways to do with belief of can or cannot. There's another middle situation that is called doubt that is found in my Yesterday's life.

I spent half of my age with the energy of escaping the importance of myself. When I did not have time to think about the things that I was doing. That became a big deal for me when I came to know I was born as a girl. There was a big question for me: why do I exist? I have lost my hopes to raise me up. My inner peace was the huge stone to move forward. But the previous decade made that stone a peaceful place where I can explain each situation through my words as I did. But today's difference is my words have become a valuable voice. Might be not for others but for myself and that is enough to be. Because I have known when Allah Almighty knows better I do not need to be worried.

The biggest truth is that people say everything that happens is already written and we call this fate. Yes, it is but sometimes our will power turns the road and that road leads to happiness but something sorrows. Because we don't know what will happen at the end. Results make us out of control in both conditions if those are according to our requirements or not. For people self control is not easy but I feel self control is the only requirement for everything and my focus is always kept on it.

My life was not smooth enough but where people lose hope I raised myself there, when I faced myself as a failure. I fell, others consoled but I was almost broken. But once I decided, only a subject or object can not describe my whole life. That subject is Literary Theory, a great attribute to you for giving me strength to know what actually I am. If you feel me down only you push me up to raise the theory of my life. Each act passes from self analysis and criticism as you do and I am not ashamed to be a failure as I was too much. But I feel proud to take initiative to find myself. 

I was the object, who was broken and reconnected by the same thing. Yes, my life is not smooth like successful people but it's going upward day by day. I am learning to be a knowledge seeker instead of grades and money. Because these two will stay here with fame but I want to go without both but leaving my name.  Life is mortal. We have to die but after that I was feeling worthless like a dead person but I did not make that point for me to stop going on. 

No one can push you to move when you personally do not want to be pushed. And I learned how to get self control on the condition when you are standing on the narrow bridge crossing a stream of doubts. Taking risks acknowledges how to get experience, while I know when I was being fearful of failure to do something new. Where the whole universe is frightful due to the pandemic situation, I found a way towards Lord and I feel God helps you when you ask something from the bottom of your heart.

After failing I have to continue but inner me was thinking how I will manage to continue that subject. On a daily basis, in each prayer the same words were in my heart. Maybe it is not right to say but I really found hope in that harmful condition and thus I was kept safe from disrespectful eyes. Lockdown due to COVID, for others was a rock but for me was a hope. My belief in Him is more strong but I wish for those who lost their beloveds He will obviously have planned something extraordinary for them as I have experienced.

Happiness around us is all about the colorful nature and the things, making a person happy and more passionate to do something. If an artist draws a sketch and makes it colorful there is always a story behind the choice about that sketch. And I always try to sketch my own happiness in small things and also I am satisfied with my life. Morality in a person must be prioritized as I feel and run towards to get them from the worldwide. Does not matter good words saying by whom but how much they are impacting, absorb them.

Few rhymes to explain my life’s peaceful climbs;

Everything is possible

If you are ambitious

You might be a good player

If your energy is pure and clear

Your power decides your destination

Sometimes that's just in your imagination

You surely can cross the thorny road

If you have faith in your Lord

Not even compulsory to be first

But be yourself first without any thirst

There's nothing remained same

But except than only your own name

Success isn't to achieve all the time fame

But moving slowly upward without any shame

Then compare your own version

From old to new that's the only best conversion

Don't hesitate to be failure

History declares about such travailleur

Stop to chase someone who's brave

You have to go in your own grave

Stay focused towards the right place

That's the best for your owns elf glace

-Mariyam Munir

Ending my words for the girl who did not lose her hope but took this whole time as a challenge. 

What is life?

 

Life is a time in which we lived, we are living and we will live. It varies time to time but never comes back. God firstly creates reasons to give birth to creations then creation comes into life. 

Human beings evolved from humans, parents are the actual reason to give birth, animals into animals. Having the same way plants also come to life. Same species hardly work to make newborns alive and the whole attribute goes to them.

But plants? What is the reason to give them birth? Who feeds them?

Did you ever think a gardener is the reason to give them birth? First gardener is Lord, who creates plants and the second gardener is the person who cultivates, who feeds not just plants but other creations too. 

Same thing happens in our life where we are just living having many hopes. What do we do here? And why are few living alive? The difference is just to see the invisibility around us and to have the vision for what actually we are viewing. We see just the thing which we want to see and this all depends on the way of thinking. 

Darkness appears

when the Light disappears

And the Sun shines

when the Moon crosses it's line

Connection of both is strong

But thought from heart to mind is too long

Nostalgia for height is dangerous

But Height of pride is not

Living creature is rewarded by souls

But It couldn't differentiate among the poles

Path is given in the very first

But we choose with the mind full of rust

Make the life clean

As like the fish in Marine

Life is short

Make this a precious fort

Life is Mortal

Everyone has its own portal

-Mariyam Munir

Life is for everyone, but the only person who is successful knows that life is for him/ her too. Each living creation is here because of any purpose and what is the purpose? We have to know. Human beings are blessed with wisdom but only this creation is not satisfied with life. Why? Having wisdom without using intellect, we are just like non human beings. We are even unable to accept our humanity as a human being.

There are points related to wisdom, positive attitude and negative attitude. What is the reaction of ours after viewing something? It will be different from person to person and who will be able to know the rightness and positivity obviously will be satisfied. But this depends on our connections with people. One's thoughts are revolutionary and come back and that is tit for tat.

A person makes a community 

A peaceful mind makes a person not just healthy but lucky too. Because a humble and positive attitude for everyone spreads humility and then it converts into successful against negativity. Life is a cyclic chain that starts from one person and never ends while participants of the same category become more than more. At the end, a society appears and that society is the result of one's attitude with others.

 

Growing up with improvement is better than just spending life with no change. And society demands change. It is not important what we have done but it is important what we are doing for the life ahead? 

The most negative role of our society is criticism of each other. Let the people allow it. A wise person only takes it sensibly and brings changes for the betterment of life. Ups and downs are the parts of life but not decides the whole life. Being a failure is not shameful if you are not staying at the same position. We just have to decide the road from past to living alive throughout life.

Refreshing mind by thinking old days

Full of ups and downs but unforgettable that gold phase

Stubbornness to get glittery things

Having them, then feeling of peaceful swings

Fight without reason

Swinging mood like season

Spreading smile by funny talking

Taking long ways for walking

That life is no more

Why is everything becoming bore?

Rest of life is just going to be spent

Because of our nature like scent

That loses its worth after being used

Nothing is useless but what is useful? Still confused

Ever thinking about self?

Ever give you a smile putting on an elf?

What a busy life! A life without getting life

Bring you up from such rife

Give you all the happiness

That's pure without mind's emptiness

Bring yourself out from such grief

By having a strong belief

God showers his blessing

You don't have a need of depressing

Life is temporary

Live in this as contemporary

This is the only way

Do good and wait for the best ray

-Mariyam Munir

 Then vs. Now

How to be a right Ambitious?

Ambition_ the hope of Personal Desire

A person who is ambitious to achieve something obviously makes a planner and wishes to take that in hand. But how can we know that the selected desire will be achieved or not? What is the purpose? And why will we be selected for that? Will it be beneficial or not? We are ambitious, it's fine enough but do we deserve to have that? 

Life is a road that starts and ends even, has many other directions and we have to know that direction that is approachable for our destination. So, is the ambition in direction? We just desire our ambition  and achieve that. But where is the determination? Are we fit for that? Standing alone does not decide who you are but standing in the crowd does. Being a good personality is good, that is a personal image of self but impactful on others. Having an identity is not easy, that is the image of a person in a specific crowd. 

Have we focused on both? No, personality requires small changes all the time and the identity based on it. Do we exist in one of both? Obviously not because our desire for achieving ambition does not make that sense to know the actual worth of self and the abilities we have. 

We never focus on what we have but we are focused on what we want to have and our ambition demands that focus. No doubt passion to get something makes everything blurry except than our target point. But if our target is not selected for the right place, then?

Target your place

The whole process revolves around the specialty we have. Many of us are successful in life because what they wanted to be now they are but they are not satisfied. Just because of wrong selection of their choice. Trend matters but when that is suitable for us. Many of us are more on the way where others go but do not remember that way where we are going is right or wrong. Everyone is able to do anything but what is the ability to do? Just focus on the point, that is ability. 

A Right Ambition

Everything is possible

If you are ambitious

You might be a good player

If your energy is pure and clear

Your power decides your destination

Sometimes that's just in your imagination

You surely can cross the thorny road

If you have faith in your Lord

Not even compulsory to be first

But be yourself first without any thirst

There's nothing remained same

But except than only your own name

Success isn't to achieve all the time fame

But moving slowly upward without any shame

Then compare your own version

From old to new that's the only best conversion

Don't hesitate to be failure

History declares about such travailleur

Stop to chase someone who's brave

You have to go in your own grave

Stay focused towards the right place

That's the best for your own self glace 

Mariyam Munir

MMS-Portal

Ability and Ambition are equally important if we have a third one that is Acceptance of self worth, this combination makes you Zealous.

A right ambition will must be in your hand, if you are really focused to explore your ability.

 

What is Fear?

                             

What makes us frightened?

Lack of self confidence always makes us frightened and we feel fear for having no power to compete, to bear or to control the whole scenario.

Fear negates self trust, when we have it for environmental impacts. Many of us have such fears like: Fear of failure, fear of losing our beloveds, some have fear of parents, siblings and family, fear of unpredictable circumstances, fear of death but fear of society is still dominated.

Self Trust leads to Success 

“Do one thing every day that scares you”

 Eleanor Roosevelt

Instead of taking step back, do what you want to do.

One more, that is fear of God. Right? Why do we have this one? But why? Because our conscience is not truly alive. We have no proper knowledge to differentiate between right and wrong. Lord never makes us frightened because He gave us proper and clear ways even for each smallest thing.

The problem is not around us but it is in ourselves. All these fears are nothing. Useless these fears only make you unstable. These all cause mental sickness and create an obstacle for moving forward. If we feel fear from others what will happen? Nothing, when we want to do something definitely we want nobody around us. Like, our actions, our deeds which are not acceptable for others but we must want to do. 

We want space, we want to be alone for a while just for fulfilling our desires. But we do, sooner or later, our desire is fulfilled, even if we have fear of others but we don't have fear of our own self. If you like something or someone, you really want to keep it near to you all the time. But when we don't find a way according to our desire, we feel angry. That's the result of being a failure. 

Fate matters but will power comes first when the mind is fully absorbed into targeting the situation.

Did we ever think about fear of conscience? Do we have fear of self?

Obviously not, because we have lost our worth by thinking what will people say?

Power of Conscience 

If we want to feel fear then we must feel it from ourselves. It will make us more stable, it will be like a most helpful companion. When we have fear of self we cannot do anything wrong. Our loneliness, our presence in public, nothing matters. Just our inner voice will make us able to survive in ourselves. If your conscience is satisfying to be a part of your actions, you have no need to be afraid. We just have to keep our conscience alive, throughout the life.

Close all the fears in a pot and make a circle of self fear around you, you'll be successful to make yourself successful.

Darkness

This darkness is not horrible for me

But the extract of my whole day

I spent, each moment in hopeful ray

Night is the fight, between depth of dark and light

But I found myself running towards the best flight

It may be an evil sight of blank site

Looking the way right to make me right

Standing alone at the edge

Where the next step is shining day

Peace remains no more in this hustle and bustle

In the day light even in the park

Light is no light but becomes dark

Where everyone never look around

Except than personal ground

Having sight without vision

Is like senses without division

As like the cluster of mud

And same like the growth less bud

Happy to stay in dark night

Calm, humble and satisfied insight

Fearless me having a fear of self

No need to be afraid from something else

-Mariyam Munir